Azu is Talking — Sleepy Hollow

I haven’t seen, read, or heard anything related to the movie, the series, or the story of Sleepy Hollow, I just have my own definition and it’s that… I’m feeling hollow inside, and oh so sleepy.

It’s actually worrisome, for myself, that I’m actually feeling that sleepy. I know sometimes we need a lot more rest, especially if you go through one period after a rough pre-hormonal stage, sleeping so badly during the entirety of it. You are in dire need of rest. But I have felt the need and desire to sleep to escape or avoid certain circumstances and feelings. I want to sleep to avoid reality. And that’s a worrisome approach.

Being able to notice it is a huge step and I’m aware of it, but doesn’t make the confrontation any easier.

Weekly Quests Overview

Monday: Publish weekly.

Tuesday: Celebrate ninth month.

Wednesday: Final edit of [REDACTED] adventure.

Thursday: English homework.

Friday: Penpal correspondence.

Saturday: Coffee tasting.

Monday

Quest of the Day: Publish weekly.

I actually did it, yeah, it’s floating around there. But I don’t remember how the day went. I’m having difficulties writing a bit of these weeklies daily, so when I sit down to do the whole writing, it’s usually at the end of the week and I already can’t remember how it started. Unless it left an impression.

If I don’t leave proof in my calendars or in posts on social media, there’s no way for me to know what happened. I guess I spent most of the day trying to finish writing the weekly, and then I posted it when the sun started to set. After that, how I intended to finish one of my editing projects as early as possible, I spent a few hours progressing on that. And that was it.

I should actually give all my projects simple and easier code names so I stop calling them Project #1 and Project #2 followed by a whole needed description to refresh everyone’s — including me — memories.

Tuesday

Quest of the Day: Celebrate ninth month.

Time’s passing by, but I’m really liking collecting every 1st in my belt. This month, though, approached quicker than expected, especially after my partner’s birthday celebration, so we were… caught by surprise. Apart from our monthly routine, we didn’t know what to do. It didn’t make it any less special though.

We’re trying to spend every possible waking moment together because we already have distance between us, but being able to set aside a whole day for Just Us™ is really nice.

I mean, only one day per month is not enough, I’m addicted to those Just Us™ moments and I’m trying to fill our schedules with at least a small one every day (like with our coffee breaks), but that’s usually hard — we’re getting busy, have lives apart, friends, family, responsibilities, a large etc. — , so I can’t really complain with this one day. Sometimes, like last month, we got to sneak a second out, like for his birthday, and soon enough, in about two months, there will be a repeat, but for my birthday.

For which, by the way, I’m pulling together an advent calendar and I’m inviting folks, whoever wants to do something with me, to take advantage of it and set some time apart. You can read more about it in this Tumblr post.

I’m not gonna even try to lie, my favorite part was when my partner relented and we decided on our Iron Valley setting (named Lonely Hill) and created our characters. The random was A Strong Thing™ here, we matched in most of our dice throws and I was baffled. Actually, I believe that’s an understatement. But I’m so excited! He agreed to progress a little bit with our campaign every month, so I’m way too happy! I don’t know, I love Iron Valley, I enjoy it a whole lot, it makes me super happy, it never disappoints. So maybe you will be finding updates about this new campaign sooner rather than later 👀

Oh! Also, btw, I haven’t really been taking into account these days when I’m scheduling posts and stuff, so this week’s post from my Personal Campaign on Iron Valley ran unaddressed. Next week won’t be a new one because I will be sharing this week’s one and scheduling the next, so — sorry, guys! On our monthlies I’m not working on anything, I’m just spending time with my partner, so I neither went with the weekly review. Maybe when I work on scheduling stuff in my calendar, I should share it for accountability. Have I already said I like accountability? Maybe I just need friends…

Wednesday

Quest of the Day: Final edit of [REDACTED] adventure.

I received notice of this from the editor on the weekend, but last Sunday I was battling a hefty headache through the whole day, so I postponed addressing it. On Monday, I received a message from the boss saying that he would look at the editions first and then send it back to me, so I took it out of my schedule until after our monthly, so it was going to be this fine day when I went to look at it.

I wasn’t exactly going to work on the whole edition just on this day and that was obvious when I got to take a look at it. I had a strong hunch when the editor sent me a bunch of questions about the adventure, so I already was… not excited about this last effort.

Not excited doesn’t actually describe it.

The boss personally asked me to not feel disheartened by the editions, but it’s been hard. I spent two days, Wednesday and Thursday, addressing the grammar and narrative changes, suggestions, and edits. The whole ten pages were smeared in red and I could barely breathe through all of it. I needed to stop on the first day after the fifth-page mark before I called it quits, so I could only finish the last five the next day. Now, I just need to address the comments questioning the adventure and the questions the editor threw at me, which I can only say will be nicer than the harsh red editions, but for how much?

Backstage Thursday

Quest of the Day: English homework.

16 pages to fill, 8 from the Student Book and 8 from the Workbook, that could be easier if only I had enough patience to spread them across the week. But no, I just want to end with it when I start it, so I spend around two to four hours weekly growing mad with every passing page, wishing to finish for once, with usually stupid questions to fill. That’s only one unit. I have eight units, and fortunately, this one was the fifth.

I also had the second out of four quizzes, and with an 80%, I don’t feel like I aced it. I passed it alright, yeah, but I could have done better. My second attempt was even worse than the first, so goddess me.

I took care to finish the edition project of the nice and friendly boss before that, I just have to check the changes made by the writers and answer comments, with a big final pass when all’s done.

After English, I worked on my backstage task, one small step at a time. I need order and organization in my life even though juggling this many accounts is unsettling, but I’ll make it through. After I finish separating everything, having clear each account’s purpose, it will all run smoother.

With two projects in the final stages, I feel both better and worse. It’s just that last stretch, but I have had jarring experiences during that same time, so I’m trying to not follow the flashbacks. I can go through. I just have to make a last effort. This time next week I may be free of them, who knows?

At least, so I hope.

Friday

Quest of the Day: Penpal correspondence.

I mean, I wanted to.

I have my angel waiting for more than a month, but we’re not rushing each other, I just remember it every day when I check my email. I haven’t felt like it just yet, but I haven’t forgotten.

And a new email just came, from a penpal who took two years to answer back. I understand the circumstances and I felt happy and all excited about answering back and picking it up again, but my head isn’t there.

I hate forcing myself to answer, but sometimes there’s no other way. The time it takes me is the one I can use to parse how I am feeling, but also, I have been awfully busy as well.

Probably soon 🫶🏼 but it seems I’ll have stuff to do this weekend, so I’m not that convinced just yet. I miss them both dearly and horribly, it’s just a matter of time.

So, about my friend’s birthday gift- let’s better not talk about it yet.

I’m feeling like I’m taking Fridays as a resting day, consciously or subconsciously. I mean, if my body needs it, I shall give it, but it’s bothering me. Sleepy, I have been so sleepy. My head hasn’t been in the proper place this week, hurting way too much; I have also been receiving way too much noise as well, my surroundings weren’t helping, so I have needed the rest. One way or another.

I tried to nap, but I was drifting on and off, watching over a friend’s group chat and waiting for my partner to go have a flash coffee break (of flash it had nothing, he stubbornly stayed until he couldn’t delay his meeting anymore. Tsk), so I couldn’t actually rest but at the same time, when my partner called, it felt as if I had fallen asleep.

I understand there’s something within me trying to stabilize itself, and I’m trying to help to the best of my abilities, but those aren’t good at all. I’m doing all I can. If the best I can do is drop everything and attempt a nap, then that’s what I’m doing. I’m tired of fighting against my body.

It’s supposed to go better in the future.

Playful Saturday

Quest of the Day: Coffee tasting.

I have been eyeing this event for about a week. It’s a Coffeest or something like that, a festival about coffee, and how I’m taking a liking to coffee, it seemed like a good idea to go. I wasn’t all in, but I was going to go, if everything seemed alright around the date.

Everything wasn’t alright around the date.

One of my older cats died a few days ago and I found the body, it was a gore, dreadful, gruesome scene. I had been with him just a few hours prior, so it was also hard to believe.

I have already been feeling down, discouraged with the [REDACTED] adventure stuff, and now this. I didn’t think I was in the mood to go coffee tasting.

In the end, there neither was money. My partner offered to pay for my entry, but I didn’t want to feel forced to go, so I delayed it to the last possible moment, to really confirm if I was going or not. I didn’t. And my mom spent a whole day apologizing for that, because she was the one bringing the event to my attention. I didn’t mind missing it that much, but it feel nice to be acknowledged.

So, I went back to my original plan. Checking changes and answering comments, progressing on my solo witchy game, and starting the second stage of the [REDACTED] adventure’s final edition. I ended doing just 1.5 of all that.

I checked the changes and answered some comments from the editing project alright.

I discovered a few details of the universe of my solo witchy game, but didn’t exactly made any progress apart from formatting-wise.

I didn’t even touched the [REDACTED] adventure. It isn’t even going to star in the magazine issue of this month; I still have the same deadline (two weeks), but it’s not coming out just yet.

I already started the weekend feeling sour, I didn’t want to make it worse. Especially with the outing I have today, one I’m not all that convinced of going. But it’s a family one, and I think I should go. I mean, I actually should be out there, but I’m scheduling this post, so I’m not knowing for certain until it arrives, so let’s hope I’m going and I’m having a nice time or if I stayed, I’m also having a nice time.

For next week, apart from the [REDACTED] adventure and the editing project, I’m not aware of something outside of my (thematic) schedule. I’m planning on having a meeting with my friends on Sunday, we’re still tweaking the details, so I’m not all that sure just yet. Let’s just wait and see.

I have never asked before, but how is your life going? If you ever feel the need to talk with someone, you can reach out to me, I don’t bite. I mean, only my partner, heheh.